I've always felt I needed to do something to get back into motivation. Thank goodness my husband Dan has not given up on me through it all. He has bought me so many different things I've asked for to get down to a decent size. There was a break through so I thought a few years ago by going to a weight Dr. and I did lose 30 lbs but it was at a high price where my health was concerned. See this drug phenermine suppressed my appetite down to nothing. It even made me not want water which is really bad. I had two episodes around 2 Am where I thought i was going to die. I got extremely dizzy cold sweats. I grabbed a slimfast drink from the fridge and drank it quickly. It turns out I was having low sugar attacks since I was only taking in about 500 cal. A DAY. I also started losing my hair from lack of nutrition.
God has really been throwing me curveballs trying to get me to pay attention to what is becoming of myself. He confirmed more than once last month that I need to change my habits, no that is putting it nicely my addictions to food. The Holy Spirit has put in my heart I am sinning by making food my idol. I have denied this as truth for far too long. I should've started this blog then but I was still being prideful. I didn't want to air out my dirty laundry to the world.
Last year God called me to fast but not the conventional fast but The Daniel Fast. I ate so clean my skin looked better, my dry scalp was clearing up. With the anointing of the spirit it is entirely possible to
eat only foods that glorifies "Him". When I turned my focus off him during the fast and was focusing on" what can I eat?" I felt I needed to end the fast. I made something that was supposed to glorify God about me and that was wrong.
Looking back this last year I am thankful to be given painful "insights". We had to a Pizza Buffet there was a table of two women sitting in front of us. The mom of two young children was sitting in her booth on the same side I was to where I could see her from behind. This sounds totally judgemental and it is but she had very trashy look going on. Dan had gotten up to get more to eat while I was still seated and when he returned from the buffet he sat down at the wrong table. He saw this woman from the corner of his eye and thought she was me! I was so appalled and disgusted. She way she was dressed , the way she had her hair was similar to mine the only difference was she sported facial piercings and tattoos. It really hurt me. It wasn't what he did, it was I let myself go.
